Lulz

Throughout the entire year that i’ve spent as a writer for Shrine, and having being invited to movie screenings of anime or manga to movie adaptations, I have always TRIED to keep an open mind on what I watch and how I will judge. As both an avid anime and animated movie fan, I have always wished for(no matter how futile) every adaptation that i’ve ever watched to be successful.

Photos of the party are here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/33603133@N04/

*Warning: MEGA SPOILERS ahead!*

But once again, Hollywood has shaken my faith in its ability to once again ADAPT a popular(if somewhat short) animated movie into the 3D Realm. The animal chosen for sacrifice this time was Blood: The Last Vampire, a story of a war between man and blood-sucking monsters. Of course, expect some story changes throughout the entire movie.

While the story of Blood: The Last Vampire does not contain many plot devices and the character development is minimal at best(anime movie, 45mins long), it does have good pacing and a reasonable standard of animation. Let me start off by stating the differences between the anime movie and it’s real-life spin off.

1. David in the anime movie is replaced with Michael. The actor for Michael is Liam Cunningham.
2. There is no organization known as the Red Shield. It is replaced by “The Council”.
3. There is no character as Alice. The original anime movie has Saya rescuing a doctor at the infirmary.
4. There is no such thing as The Elder.
5. Alice and her father(Supreme Generalissimo of the Base) do not exist in the anime movie timeline.
6. The live-action movie expands and develops upon certain scenes from the anime movie.

These are just some of the changes made to the story. I’ll explain more as I go along.

Introduction:

We start off by seeing Saaya on a train, alone, sitting across from a man in the same train cab. As per the anime movie, Saaya goes after and kills the man, leaving his body in the space between two train cabs. The train then stops at the next station and David and (I forgot this guy’s name) get on it to inspect the target. The man, Luke(whose name I forgot in the anime movie) then exclaims that the target was not a Chiropteran, at which point Saaya, grabs his fingers and restrains him, after which Michael tells them both to stop and tells Luyke that she is important in The Council. Also, the “Cleanup Twins” arrive with their space-age, death-busting gear to clean up the mess.

The movie then introduces Alice and how she is getting bullied in school because of her being the General’s daughter. She then gets into a pseudo-katana/kendo fmatch with two other students who conveniently happen to be Chiropterans. Incidentally, so’s her Kendo teacher. And all she’s got is a bamboo sword while the other two bullies/Chiropterans are using real katanas.

Long story short, she gets saved by katana-wielding Saaya, who slices the head off the fat bully(not named) and the “Cleanup Twins” arrive to clean the gym shortly after. We then get treated to a stand-off between the military and The Council.

Main Storyline:

At this point, Alice takes off to find her kendo teacher whom she follows into a seedy bar, and voila, every bloody damn Tom, Dick and Harry in it is a Chiropteran! Sweet Mother of God! Needless to say, the action gets stale really fast and the pacing starts to go haywire.

The CG scenes within the movie are also not very well done, with many discrepancies and irregularities. In one scene, Alice’s father is shot by Luke and CG blood splatter is added when he gets shot. However, once he’s lying on the floor, the production team only then decides “Oh, we’ll add real effects to show he’s been shot” and then we see him gripping a bullet wound in the chest.

Like I mentioned earlier, the fight between the Chiropteran horde and Saaya which takes place when Saaya rescues Alice outside the bar leads in the narrow streets. The action is very rushed and CG poorly done. I mean, come on, she melds through the walls to chase the Chiropteran who has kidnapped Alice? Also, with the producer of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon involved, there was a lot of “air-staircase” and flying attacks. But we get treated to plenty of bloomer action as Saaya’s skirt flies up more than a few times as she spin-kicks and snap-kicks the attacking horde.

Throughout the entire movie, we are treated to a few flashbacks that attempt to explain Saaya’s background to the viewers. While the fights are impressive(KATOOOOOOOOOO-sannnnnn!!!) the plot is weak. Onigen is explained away as the greatest enemy to Saaya and the person who killed her father. And Saaya’s father was a well-known, renowned samurai who fought against the demons. Demons and  bloodsuckers are used interchangeably in the movie. Saaya is also explained as being a half/half, that is, a vampire/demon with a human soul.

Then there’s…

1.Two afro chiropterans(hilarious fight scene)
2.Onigen sidekick(role not really explained in the movie). He’s cannon-fodder, of sorts. He loses a wing but the movie then cuts to the village.
3.A new 4chan meme.
4.The final death scene.
5.The very ambiguous use of Japanese in the movie. Gianna Jun’s use of Japanese, while correct, is rendered horrid by her slang which  also happens to be dubbed over.

The only scene I liked in the movie was the section where we get to see Kato defending himself from the… NINJAS. YES, NINJAS IN THIS MOVIE! AND THEY CAN MOVE UNDERGROUND!

I mean, come on, we all need a good action, fast-paced movie once in awhile but they’ve thrown the book out with this adaptation. At times, it feels like a B-grade movie production due to the extreme “faking” of the CG inserts and whatever body-suit that they scrounged up from Nightmare on Elm Street. Saaya and Onigen walking on air was also “faked” badly.

I think what the director and producer forgot was that this isn’t a kungfu movie. But the problem lies in the fact that it’s TREATED like a kungfu movie and while the animation film does have things like “vampire” and “monsters” and “swordfights”, it is not at all a flashy “edge-of-your-seat”, “i’m-beyond-godlike” movie.

The ending to the movie also treats us to an unexpected, and I must admit, kind of silly ending. As the animated movie doesn’t really explain much to Saaya’s background and it ends at the Chiropteran attempting to escape scene, the production team had a very open story with which to develop.

We find out in the end that Onigen is Saaya’s mother(and she REALLY does say, “I AM YOUR MOTHER! KEKEKEKE”) and Saaya then kills her mother(naturally, unlike that pussy Luke Skywalker who thinks, “I know there is some good left in you, Father.”).

Why is it that a person, touted to be the most powerful, most evil, mother of all Chiropterans so easily killed in the final scene? A quick fight-scene, then another sword-fight on a tower, tower falls, Onigen on the ground, Saaya about to stab her, Saaya stab her, end of movie. I mean, if they made her out to be as powerful as possible in the movie, which is also seen in the initial fights between Onigen and Saaya, how does she go “Unnff… I are pwned. HURRRR” when a tower falls?

Conclusion:

Personally, this movie is fairly disappointing and I am being very generous at that. There WERE points when i really felt like staging a walkout out of the viewing hall. While a certain amount of liberal storytelling and plot development is to be expected, there are many points at which the plot has so many holes it drains water faster than a colander. The plot is weak and flashbacks are not impressive enough to emphasize, “Oh… so this is how she grew up”. Saaya also comes across as an angtsy teen who never completely got over her rebellious years and the “I-am-your-mother” scene is unnecessary. Once again, the cliches are never really avoided and you can actually expect to know what’s coming.

My score: 3.5/10

Photos are here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/33603133@N04/